Without You
by KamilahKaliope
Summary: He would never get it by, if it weren't for a young human girl who strayed into the spirited world, with her pig parents at that. Haku/Chihiro, Chihiro/OC


**EVERYTHING BELONGS TO GHIBLI STUDIOS**

 **And Without You is not mine, either, obviously.**

* * *

 **Without You**

 **[Kohaku X Chihiro, Drama, Song Fic]**

 **Summary:**

He would never get it by

if there wasn't for a young human girl

who strayed into the spirit world,

with her pig parents at that.

* * *

 **-Part 1-**

 _I can't win_

 _I can't reign_

 _I will never win this game_

 _Without you_

"Sen," The name tasted weird on his mouth, noted Haku surprisingly. He had heard the evil witch called out harshly for the young girl with pig mother and father whom he found himself rescuing from the near Death, and, almost immediately after he was left alone, found himself shaking his head almost unnoticeably while muttering a word in his mind repeatly like an obsessed mantra.

'No,'

He had breathed in rather deeply at that, realizing how serious a voice in his mind whispered.

'Sen,' He tried again.

No.

'No, the name doesn't sound right at all.' He wondered.

The reason why, though, was a mystery, or at least it remained a mystery until the moment Haku entered his dark chamber, snapped his fingers to get the light flick on and went straight to his bed sitting in the middle of the room, not to sleep, but to calm his mind down. Usually, he always felt something akin to calmness when he was alone without all the chaotic life outside. Now, however, calmness just couldn't seem to find him easily. Surely, Yubaba would grill him alive if she knew that he was absent at the moment, but right now Haku didn't have a mind to care. All he wanted to think of is the girl who, with a determination frown on her face, made him feel somewhat uncomfortable with how her parents are treated even if it was simply not in his nature to care about mere mortals.

At first glance, Haku considered killing her off since it was his job to protect the bathhouse from any kind of threat, including a young human. However, when she turned to look at him with a surprise in her big black-brown eyes, the dragon went still for a moment. All thoughts seemed to have left him in that second. Haku wasn't sure what to make of the excited roar of the dragon within him, he wasn't sure why everything in his life suddenly seems colorful compared to before, and he certainly wasn't sure why his heart thumped horribly at the thought that she could die, standing there while looking so unsure of her surroundings. The girl, Haku thought all of sudden, would never know what hit her.

'Go!' He tried. Oh, how he tried to chase her away from this horrible place, still, even with all those efforts, she still ended up working here, trying to scrub the floor out there cleaned with those scrawny arms of hers.

'I should have known the human is a walking trouble,' he thought, unknowingly with softened eyes.

Haku knew he wasn't a good person, working under Yubaba didn't require him to be good anyway. He just had to be cold, ruthless, and prepared to do absolutely everything to get things the witch wants done. Haku also noticed that he was hated by all the workers here and, truly, he could understand why. They didn't like Yubaba. He was her mindless puppet, therefore they didn't like him.

Normally, Haku knew that he wasn't one to help somebody without any gain; dragons, however wise and merciful they were, tended to be cunning and could become vicious if angered, some was bloodthirsty even. That was why he was so surprise at himself when his wind carried him, almost rushing, to the place that the human girl was sitting, shaking and alone, her face on her knees. He wasted no time trying to decipher why the wind started acting on its own and he wasted no time dwelling on the fact that seeing her parents transformed into mindless pigs must be traumatic enough for her to start reacting in fear to everything that touch. He was in so much hurry to save her from the faith of death that he almost didn't notice the girl flinched when he grabbed her arms. She tried to shake herself off, until she realized that her hands were disappearing.

She looked so startled, so frightened, so _fragile_.

He stared deep into her eyes to convey the same thing he had said, 'You have to eat this world's food or you will disappear. Do it.'

She stared back, and then slacked her arms off just a little. It's enough for him to be able to force the food down her throat. He was so relieved when he saw that her hands were visible and solid again. She noticed that too and sniffed.

'Her eyes are glassy. She has been trying to hold her tears in,' he noted to himself in sympathy although he didn't know why he cared. He wasn't even sure what to think of it. Maybe

She looked so breakable. Her every movement exposed so many weak spots he could use against her.

Even in this body, he still could kill her in just a snap of her neck.

She could get killed.

It alarmed him, horribly reminding him that she needed all the protection she could get. No one in the spirit world would be as tolerant of human smells like he was, nor would they tried to stop others from devouring her.

That was why he brought her to the bathhouse. He needed to be able to see where she was.

Her name was stolen, though. And now he started to doubt his decision.

Speaking of her name, Haku knew it couldn't be Sen. Sen was too simple. Too short.

Her name should be more. Longer. More meaningful.

It should be –

"Chihiro," Haku breathed.

And for some reason, the moment her name left his lips, he suddenly felt more completed and less empty, and dared he said it was almost like it was his own name he recovered. For the first time since his true name was owed by the ancient witch, Haku almost felt like he was home.

That kind of connection wasn't normal, he realized. She was important. She was the link to the old life he never wanted to leave.

She was Chihiro.

His Chihiro.

He just couldn't lose her.

 _I am lost_

 _I'm vain_

 _I will never be the same_

 _Without you_

He lost her.

No, that was not it. He let her go, back to where she was and belonged, even though his dragon was all but wail in lost the moment her small – and strong, and brave – delicate hand slipped away from his.

He watched her go with his heart both miserable and wistful. The petite girl's back was straight and filled with purpose, with so little shred of hesitation. No doubt that he was very proud. One time, before she was gone from the spirit world for good, Chihiro paused. And his heart leaped, with urgency and not with hope, because he knew he didn't want her time as human to end like that.

And she did him proud again by straightening her back up and followed her parents without even pausing again. The next moment he knew, she was gone.

"I promise, Chihiro," he mumbled softly. "We will meet again."

Just not soon.

They would meet. When the time comes, Haku would do anything to meet her. He would wait to see her again. The promise he made was not something he did just to assure the girl, not even close, dragons didn't do that. If he promised, then he had every intention of keeping it.

But not soon, he hoped.

Haku stood there for a minute longer, then turn back to where he should belong.

His heart both lightened and so, so much more pained and heavier than before.

 _Heaven's breath._

Haku had lived for almost a thousand years, from the moment the river was born, he grew up enough to forget all about how time went differently between human and other entities' life spans, and although the years left seemed so miniscule compared to the times he had spent as a youngling, still the years that had yet to come seem so tiring and agonizing all of sudden.

Already, he missed her big brown eyes, and her sweet voice, coated with slight wonder, like when she called him by his true name. _"Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi."_

Just like that, he was free.

And she didn't even know what she had done.

She was one amazing girl. His redemption.

So brave and kind, so full of compassion. All of her is filled with the essence of life itself.

"Master Haku," one wench came slowly from behind, her voice hesitant. Haku blinked his thought away and turned back to reality. He watched, rather passively, as the woman spirit fumbled with her clothes and spoke with great speed, "you are summoned, Master, by Mistress Yubaba."

He frowned.

It's time to talk about the his payment, it seemed.

The dragon threw his glance back to the gate again one more time, before he went back to face Yubaba's ire.

* * *

 **-Part 2-**

 _I won't run_

 _I won't fly_

 _I will never make it by_

 _Without you_

All Chihiro ever wanted was to blend in.

Unfortunately, what she wanted was what she could never achieve. Ever since the bathhouse and the spirits, and Haku. She could never blend in with anything again.

Well, maybe except in an asylum somewhere, she could, according to her _psychiatrist_ anyway.

After her family has gotten back from the world of afterlife and spirits, it appeared like they went missing for a week. A week without communication. A week without contacting anyone, and certainly without any adults remembering what had happened.

Chihiro remembered, though. In an innocence attempt to explain what really happened to the police, she told them of her adventure in a world of spirits, told them that her parents got changed into pigs – which made them spluttering in disbelief – and told them of Haku, a very stern but handsome young boy who turned out to be a god of a river which was once there in her hometown.

No one believed her, of course.

Their story was on front page covers, and the whole disappearing thing was never solved. Nobody in her family remembered what really happened. There were many, many theories of her family's _misfortune_ – and she didn't agree with that word, by the way. Some said that they were kidnapped and got hypnotized to experience some black magic thing of some cults, others said it was alien, while the older ones claimed that it was the spirits.

Ironically, their theory, which was scoffed at by most, was the one which was most close to the truth.

After adamantly insisting that there was really dragons and spirit world, they sent Chihiro to psychiatrist to 'evaluate' her psychic state.

Chihiro was so young, she didn't understand why people wouldn't believe her when all she said was the truth. And she didn't lie! But the pills were thrust into her hands anyway.

Apparently, the girl was crazy.

 _Wrong in the head_ , they said.

Chihiro was recognized everywhere she went as _the poor girl_. In her new school, her life was made miserable by every student there. It was a good thing that, though it was true that people saw her as 'the girl on the TV,' there were a few geeky boys who didn't seem to care about the whole kidnapping thing. So the girl wasn't completely isolated.

She should have been miserable, but Chihiro couldn't stay sad and withdrawn all the time when she knew that she would see her dragon again someday.

He promised her.

And Haku did seem like a boy who kept a promise, didn't he?

'But it's been more than ten years,' her traitorous mind whispered, making Chihiro somewhat faltered in her bravado. The girl, no, the woman, as she was already twenty-four years old, inhaled sharply at the familiar hurt which kept surging from her soul and tried to feign a smile when one of her co-workers passed by.

The work was dull. The days were boring. The people were the same every day. Chihiro was not the awkward, _poor girl_ she once was. Thanks whatever gods above, not many still remembered the incident, and none remembered her. The world was too vibrant to focus on one little dot on the soil, after all.

It moved on. Everyone moved on. So Chihiro tried to move on, too.

 _Easier said than done_ , she snickered quietly to herself. Who would ever forget that old and young face, that cool and warm voice? Who could ever forget the river god himself?

The world that she said she ' _forget,_ ' so she did. To blend in, she needed to.

 _But how could she ever forget Haku?_

Right on that moment, the sky rumbled.

The rain fell.

Chihiro looked up from her work, and stared longingly at the water that was running down on the glass. The corner of her lip curled up, amused, 'it seems you don't want me to forget about you either, huh?'

As if to answer, the sky growled.

Some of the co-workers shriek, afraid of the big and scary sound. But Chihiro began to hum.

 _I can't rest_

 _I can't fight_

 _All I need is you and I_

 _Without you_

 _Without you_

The woman of thirty years old sighed. Her parents were never going to give up on pairing her up with 'good, suitable man,' weren't they?

Right about now, Chihiro was sitting on the opposite side of a young man, looking no older than twenty-seven to twenty-eight years old who certainly looked like he didn't know what he was doing there. It was clear than he was forced into this meeting like she was.

After a brief, very polite self-introduction around half an hour ago, there was not much conversation going on. Or any conversation, at all.

After eyes darting from her food to her face for sometimes, _Fukui_ finally blurted out miserably.

"Am..Am I boring?"

Chihiro's eyes darted up in surprised.

"I mean, I don't..I mean, I shouldn't say anything at all, right?" He laughed nervously and Chihiro's eyes softened at his embarrassed tone. She didn't mean to appear cold and bored. Her mind was simply not there at the moment, busy themselves fueling her anger at her parents, who never seemed to understand her like she wanted them to.

"It's not because of you," she assured him softly, "it's just that I never wanted to be here, that's all."

"Actually, me too!" He exclaimed, eyes bright, seemingly eager to grab anything that could change into a conversation to avoid those awkward silence like the previous thirty minutes. "I mean, it's not that you are not beautiful – because you totally are," he added hastily as though he was afraid to thread her patience, which, surprisingly, didn't seem to flank down like she thought it would. "It was just, I don't know, maybe I could find someone _eventually._ Without actually having to rely on a _matchmaker_ that Ma hires, you know?"

Nope. Not annoying at all.

"Why would _anyone_ do this? Why would we rely on an _old woman_ to look for our match made _in heaven_? How could she _know_ what was made in heaven anyway?" He sounded outraged, albeit detectably playful.

She actually felt that her laughter was bubbling up.

Perhaps it was because of the earnest expression that he wore, or the way he kept touching his eyes-glasses, or perhaps it could be because of the way he kept fumbling with his shirt. She wasn't sure.

After that, they talked. For hours.

And three years after, they wed.

* * *

 **-Part 3-**

 _I can't erase_

 _So I'll take blame_

 _But I can't accept that we're estranged_

 _Without you_

 _Without you_

'If you have an option to marry a girl who loves somebody else, but also loves you, would you do it?'

It was a question he asked his friends, once, during a class reunion.

There was silence after that, then, after a pin dropped, the restaurant practically _exploded_.

'Why would you do that!?'

'Don't be an idiot, they are controlled hard enough as it i– ouch!'

'Wait, you are _dating_? As in really dating _a girl_?'

'Who is she?'

He was overwhelmed, not exactly used to being in the center of attention. Fortunately, one of them actually seemed to think about his question, which he asked first, carefully.

'Do you love her?'

He replied immediately without any hesitation. 'I do.'

'Will the man she loves be any threats to your relationship?'

Fukui paused.

'I don't know,' he answered honestly. 'I'm not sure, actually. He..I don't know if he could touch her at all.'

Murmurs broke out around him because of his reply.

'Why not?' One of his closer friends, Tatsuya, seemed very curious.

Fukui paused again, as if in thought, then briefly looked out the window into the night sky, there wasn't a star in sight because of the city light 'They have not met since she was very young.'

'How young?'

'Thirteen years old, perhaps.'

'You don't have to be afraid of her first love, you know? It was just a puppy love. You liked Sakura over there too when you were in grade ten, did you not?'

The said girl spluttered.

Fukui forced a smile, it looked grim and sad, and not exactly only for himself.

'I don't know about that, mate.'

'Why?'

'Sometimes,' his eyes full of love and pain, Fukui whispered, 'memories can be _very_ powerful.'

 _I can't quit now_

 _This can't be right_

 _I can't take one more sleepless night_

 _Without you_

 _Without you_

"Will you marry me?"

"You know I can't."

"Because of Haku?"

"No."

"Then _why_?"

"I love you."

"..But you won't marry me?"

"I love him, too. Always have, probably always will."

"I know."

"And you would still have me as your wife?"

"It hurts less if I have you here with me."

"We are _not_ going to be a happy married couple, are we?"

"You don't know that." He chided as gently as he could.

"No," she whispered softly, her eyes mournful, "no, I don't."

Fukui watched her expression carefully, he had come prepared for the worst. He knew there was a lot of chance – more than ninety percent, actually – that she would reject his proposal. Two years of getting to know the woman he desperately loved made him realized that, under that soft and passive ulterior, she was truly stubborn.

She made him believed her story from another world, after all.

And because it was true, at least one hundred percent true to her, the dragon was true, too. Her love for him, also.

How could he compete with all those years of loving? Especially to someone who was on that level? A dragon?

But he was willing to try, if only she'd let him.

"I'll take care of you," seeing that she was about to protest, he added, "we'll take care of each other. I swear, I understand your feelings for him. I know. You told me, remember? But I know that I'd rather face the future with you beside me than without." Her face softened, he tentatively smiled, "you are my best friend, Chihiro. You just happen to also be the woman I love, that's all."

He looked back into her eyes, which gazed imploringly into his own, he finished his proposal with her hands to his lip. "I love you. Let's get married."

She blinked, one of her tear drops sliding down on her cheek, and mumbled.

"…Okay."

 _I won't soar_

 _I won't climb_

 _If you're not here, I'm paralyzed_

 _Without you_

 _Without you_

 _Their married life was not as miserable as she'd believed it to be,_ she told him once. He had agreed, joking that it might be because their expectation was so low that everything _right_ looked like _a miracle._ They both knew, however, that what he said was true.

On the wedding day, there was rain. Everyone said it was a disaster. He thought it was a disaster, but Chihiro, the mystical woman, she laughed and smiled so much that his heart soared. His _wife_ , with her white wedding dress wet and covered in mud, danced in the rain like a river nymph she was, and had him dance with her.

No one understood them.

At first, he didn't understand her either. Until he remembered what she told him, 'the spirits had always watched over her. Haku, too.'

So, the rain was a _blessing_.

Humbly, Fukui was grateful.

Even though they both caught a horrible cold the next two days and had to postpone their honeymoon, the fact that Chihiro seemed so much more relaxed and happy, and free, with the prospect of being his wife made him so happy that he didn't even care.

It had been twenty years since then, their child had moved into Tokyo University's private dormitory last month. Leaving Chihiro and him truly alone for the first time, the house was quiet.

Chihiro was not home. As usual. She probably went into the wilds, she had always felt connected to the forest more than she ever had with people. However, by the night time came, she would always come back, with a big and exhilarated smile. She would come and sit on the couch near his, her special couch, and animatedly tell him about her adventure in the woods.

Fukui was not worried.

Until she didn't come back that night, and the night after, and _after._

* * *

 **-Part 4-**

 _I can't look_

 _I'm so blind_

 _I lost my heart_

 _I lost my mind_

 _Without you_

Chihiro was confused.

She looked around.

Everything was white.

She didn't remember everything.

'Haku, love, soul mate,' a voice whispered in her mind, 'Fukui, husband, love. Minori, child, love.'

She didn't understand.

Then, suddenly, everything _exploded_. Into millions of colors, into millions of smells and sensations.

And in front of her, suddenly, there was a..a boy?

"Chihiro," his voice was warm and soft. She instantly knew that she could trust him. "Come."

She placed her hand in his. And he pulled her into an embrace. Soft and longing.

"I'm sorry, Chihiro, I'm truly sorry." His voice broke, and she blinked. She still didn't understand why he had to apologize.

His face sad. She didn't want him to be sad.

Chihiro frowned, then placed her hands on his cheeks gently, "Don't..cry."

He choked.

"I'm sorry, I can't save you in time, _I'm so sorry."_

She embraced him again, and noticed for the first time that they were the same height. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled, it was ticklish. She laughed, full of child-like wonder.

He mumbled.

"Come with me, Chihiro"

She didn't even hesitate when she nodded.

Because even if she didn't know why she was here, or why the boy was so familiar and warm and made her feel so much longing, she still knew that her soul would be whole only if she was with him.

He was her half.

As she was his.

And finally, _finally_ , they found each other.

 _I am lost_

 _I am vain_

 _I will never be the same_

 _Without you_

 _Without you_

 _Without you_

* * *

 _The end._


End file.
